In this interview on the Start Anew Show, Angus Nelson goes personal and shares the story of how he lost his business, marriage and self worth resorting to addiction and pornography. But more importantly, this is a story of a man picking himself from rock bottom and starting anew. Angus shares the long and painful process of recovery and healing and his road to becoming a leadership and relationship expert.
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Today, the new Angus is a sought after expert and speaker in the leadership and relationship space.
Through my podcasting, speaking, writing, and coaching, I’m creating resources to change lives and building a community of leaders more self-aware, confident, and impactful in our society.” – Angus Nelson
He works with executives of the world’s largest companies as a speaker, coach, and facilitator. He’s spoken at corporate headquarters for Walmart, Whole Foods, Coke, BMW and others; hosts an Inc.com Top 20 business podcast called, “Up In Your Business”; and has been featured on Aol.com, Huffington Post, & VentureBeat. His book is called “Love’s Compass: How Do You Recover After a Lost Relationship”.
Angus is very transparent and admits how the old Angus had his identity and self-worth tied up in business performance and achievements, which is why when his business failed, he felt that he had failed. His coping mechanism was to lose himself in addiction, porn and promiscuity thereby damaging his character and values. It was amidst this chaos in his life that he lost his home (due to no fault of his own) and sent him in a downward spiral of self-loathing and self-abuse.
In those dark years, Angus found some light in:
- Personal development books
- Safe community
Angus is very transparent and emphasizes that there is no magic bullet solution to recovering from a lost relationship or starting anew from rock bottom in life. He stresses that everyone’s journey of recovery, healing and starting over is unique but he strongly recommend the following tools to anyone who has hit rock bottom:
- Counselling or therapy
- Safe community where you can share your thoughts and feelings without being judged or ridiculed
- Give permission to those you feel safe with to challenge you, question you and bring it all out in the open
He started writing down on his bathroom mirror -Affirmations, scriptures and quotes that he was learning. Somewhere along in this transformative journey, he learnt to live in the present and become grateful that he was moving forward and growing. As he became a happier and more fulfilled man, happier people and better opportunities presented themselves and that’s how he met his wife. Having learnt from all his past mistakes, Angus started his next relationship (with his now wife) on the right foot with counselling where they discussed their expectations and dreams. They talked about the 3 things that destroy relationships:
To learn more about how Angus started his new relationship on the right foot, the kind of things they discussed early on their marriage and the exercises they have been doing in their marriage from the start to ensure that they have a mutually satisfying and fulfilling relationship 9 years on, tune in and listen to the episode.